My story
I came to counselling following my own experience of early loss. In therapy, I began to understand how bereavement — and the quiet defences I’d built to cope — had shaped my relationships, my sense of self, and how I moved through the world.
For a long time, I created an identity around achievement, both professionally and personally. On the outside, I appeared capable and steady.
Inside, I doubted myself often — replaying conversations, questioning decisions, and holding myself to impossibly high standards.
When things went wrong, even outside my control, I assumed I must somehow be at fault.
Socially, I carried similar uncertainty. Even with familiar people, I worried about how I came across and whether I truly belonged in the rooms I’d worked hard to reach. Outward confidence masked a much quieter sense of not quite being enough.
My work is shaped both by professional training and lived experience of carrying responsibility while quietly questioning myself.
Many of the women I work with recognise themselves in similar patterns — appearing capable on the outside while carrying something more uncertain underneath.
If that feels familiar, you might recognise aspects of your own experience in some of the articles I’ve written, including:
What therapy helped me understand
Therapy helped me gently unravel these patterns. Over time, I began to see how early experiences had shaped my expectations of myself and others — and how hard I was working to stay in control and avoid vulnerability.
As the pieces came together, I found more ease, more clarity, and a softer way of relating to myself. That process didn’t happen quickly, but it was deeply transformative.
It also reshaped how I understand the work I now do with clients.
How this shapes my work
This lived understanding informs how I work today. I know what it’s like to appear capable while feeling uncertain inside, and how difficult it can be to let yourself slow down and be seen.
In my work, I offer a steady, relational space where insight can develop gradually. Rather than focusing on quick fixes, I support clients to understand the emotional patterns that have shaped them — so change comes from clarity, not pressure.
I work in line with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) Ethical Framework and offer weekly, confidential counselling for adult women. Sessions are relational and reflective, providing a steady space to explore emotional patterns over time.
Why The RelationSHIFT Counsellor
I named my practice The RelationSHIFT Counsellor because meaningful change often begins with small, compassionate shifts in the relationship we have with ourselves.
As understanding deepens, those shifts ripple outward — shaping how we relate to others, our work, and our lives more broadly.
The way I work with clients is shaped by both my training and lived experience — You can learn more about how I work on the Work With Me page.
My background and training
Before retraining as a counsellor, I spent many years working as a Chartered Building Surveyor — in professional environments where competence was expected, pressure was constant, and showing any sign of struggle simply wasn't an option.
I'm not drawing on that time as a distant reference point. I know what it feels like to move through high-responsibility work while privately doubting yourself. To appear steady in a meeting while something quieter and more uncertain hums underneath. To build an identity around capability because, for a long time, that felt like the safest thing to be.
That experience directly shapes how I work with clients today.
I understand the specific texture of professional pressure — the way it rewards performance and penalises vulnerability, and how difficult it can be to set that down, even in a space that's explicitly for you.
I won't pathologise your strengths. I won't treat your competence as the problem. But I will offer a space where you don't have to perform it — where we can look, gently, at what that coping has cost you, and what might feel different.
That's something I can offer not just as a trained counsellor, but as someone who has genuinely lived it.
I am a registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and work in line with its ethical framework and practise under regular clinical supervision.
My training includes:
Post Graduate Diploma in Psychodynamic Counselling
Certificate in Psychodynamic Counselling
How I work
Alongside my training, I bring warmth, curiosity, and respect for your lived experience.
Therapy with me is a space to think, feel, and understand yourself more fully — without pressure to perform or fix.
A little about me
Outside the therapy room, I value quiet starts to the day with good coffee, long walks (preferably with a dog, if I can borrow one), thoughtful conversation, and time with family, friends, and my cat, Luna.
If you’re curious about working together, you can find more details about my approach and practical information on the Work With Me page — or take a little more time to read if that feels helpful.
If you’d prefer, you’re also welcome to get in touch via the contact page.
Ready to begin?
Reaching out can feel difficult — but you’ve already taken a first step by being here.
You’re welcome to book a free 15-minute consultation to talk about what’s bringing you here and see if working together feels right.
If you’re considering therapy but are not local, I also offer online therapy across the UK.